Beliefs Revisited

I’ve had a lot come up for me recently that’s challenging me to think about things in a different way. This inevitably leads me to revise some of the beliefs I hold. Like a natural form of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT).

  • One of the extreme beliefs I held was in relation to Insomnia and my ability to cope with it. I have been on sleeping tablets for the last 2 years but have managed to come off them, this time without difficulty. To start with I slept OK but now it has got to the point where I don’t sleep. I am embracing this a positive change rather than worrying about it. I expect I will get some sleep soon enough. This may sound crazy to you but I was originally driven to suicide over this issue. Thankfully that is no longer happening!
  • As part of a perceived change from Normal to Manic status, I now believe I’m operating in the Present rather than the Past / Future. Mania goes hand in hand with a feeling of elation and invincibility. I find myself connecting this to the Be Strong driver from Transactional Analysis. It makes a change from my Normal driver which is Try Hard.
  • I encountered the Be Perfect driver when I had my first dose of CBT 15 years ago. Well and truly unpicked. Now I just need to find Please Others and Hurry Up and I’ll have the full set.
  • As it happens my next assignment at work was to do some debugging “in a timely manner”. This is a strong dose of the Hurry Up driver. Which thinking about it I encountered in my first job 25 years ago.
  • So now I’m not sure whether the Present is associated with Be Strong or Hurry Up for me. Or both.

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