Desperately Seeking Me

This is the title of my first book on Amazon.

I had an episode of complete desperation today. Where I was convinced that I was unable to do my job and that the alternative to become a writer was doomed to fail. The fear of homelessness looms large in me, though I have enough money saved to probably last a year.

In particular I had several occasions where I was “bounced by the universe”, sending me very stressful situations to deal with all at once. This gave me the firm impression that I’m not cut out to be a software developer. Nevertheless it was useful to work through some of this negativity and restore my faith that I can do my job for a little longer whilst writing as a hobby.

I used The Power Of Now to dissolve my fears and return to the present. It was instrumental to do some emails from me to me to get all of the negativity off my chest.

I notice that I don’t work effectively when I’m in desperation mode. I type faster but with much less care so that I can’t buy into the end result very much. Whereas I was much calmer once I’d returned to normality.

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