Stripping Naked Outside Costa

No this wasn’t a teenage prank, it happened when I was 44 years old.

I’d spent the day visiting Lyme Regis in a state of full-on Mania.

First I went to Connie’s Curios, a rock and fossil shop near the top of the high street, behind the Post Office. After much deliberation I bought a pair of blue crystal agate bookends. The shopkeeper wrapped them separately.

Then I went to Costa Coffee a few doors down. Whilst drinking my drink, apparently I was talking to myself the whole time. This was reported to my ex wife via a friend who just happened to be in the cafe at the same time.

By the time I finished my drink I’d unwrapped one of the bookends. Then I made the observation that all the baristas were male. So I asked for a pen and wrote “Costa Male” on the wrapping. I put the wrapping in the middle of the table, placed the bookend on top and wrote “Costa Female” on the other one. I took it with me out of the shop, leaving Costa Male behind.

I then drove to Costa Coffee in Marsh Barton, Exeter, by which time it was dark. Costa was closed and there was nobody around. So I placed Costa Female on the ground in the car park. Then for some reason I felt the urge to do the Full Monte, arranging my clothes in a kind of monument around the bookend. I was imagining all the connections to the universe this was generating.

Nobody came. So I put my clothes back on and went home.

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