Normally people think of being impulsive as a good thing. However, once you’ve been diagnosed with an episode of mania, you will have experienced enough impulsive behaviour to last a lifetime.
The trouble is that if you ask me what I want, you will get an impulsive answer. But this is only what a part of me wants and is the answer I think you want to hear. What I actually want is to be more measured; to go for the impulsive answer once in a while but not every time.
So how do I change my behaviour? I’m not sure I can. Not sure I have a choice. Could this be a deterministic universe after all?
I’m scared. Scared of what will happen to me once my ability to earn money runs out. Impulsiveness is just a distraction.
Yet the Buddhist in me says I should live in the present and not worry about the future. Why can’t I put that into effect?
Answers on a postcard please.
New year’s resolution: stop worrying about the future.
Is this the same thing as Buddha saying one should dispense with one’s self?